Sandy Island, R.I.P.: Global Warming Takes Another Victim
Chalk up another devastating loss to global warming: Sandy Island is no more. How can I tell Mrs. Fin, Valerie, and the kids that we will have to cancel our yearly holidays to our favourite island paradise?
When interviewed at Google Maps HQ, section chief Shiv Mgumbo was flabbergasted.
"Just last week I was looking at extremely clear satellite images of Sandy Island, and now they tell me that it is no longer there?
How can people still deny global warming, when we see it happening before our very eyes? This is the very reason why we at Google support the development of wind and solar power. This is a true carbon disaster!"
It was Australian scientists who discovered the loss of the much beloved island. At first, they could not believe that it was gone:
So remember, boys and girls: The next time someone tells you that global warming isn't real, just remind them of the sad tale of Sandy Island. And tell them that their home town may be next.
For global warming does not only cause catastrophic rises in sea level -- such as the 1,400 metre rise above Sandy Island. It also causes unprecedented storms, floods, droughts, sexually transmitted diseases, earthquakes, and alterations in the planetary magnetic field. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is real!
Just tell them that. And when you have the time, observe a moment of silence for Sandy Island and the lost millions who once lived at over 1,400 metres higher altitude than their final resting place.
As for the Fin family, I suppose we'll have to settle for Bora Bora this year. C'est la vie.
When interviewed at Google Maps HQ, section chief Shiv Mgumbo was flabbergasted.
"Just last week I was looking at extremely clear satellite images of Sandy Island, and now they tell me that it is no longer there?
How can people still deny global warming, when we see it happening before our very eyes? This is the very reason why we at Google support the development of wind and solar power. This is a true carbon disaster!"
It was Australian scientists who discovered the loss of the much beloved island. At first, they could not believe that it was gone:
“We were out in the Eastern Coral Sea, conducting a scientific research expedition, and when we were approaching the area of [Sandy Island],” Seton told the BBC. “We saw that our scientific maps showed there was an island there and yet the navigation charts on board the vessel showed that we had a water depth of 1,400 metres.But no more. Now, Sandy Island lies beneath 1,400 metres of saltwater, lost to all those who loved it.
“The world is a constantly changing place, the Google spokesman told AFP, “and keeping on top of these changes is a never-ending endeavour.”
Of course, the island isn’t just on Google Maps, it has appeared on a large number of charts since at least 2000. _ Island R.I.P
So remember, boys and girls: The next time someone tells you that global warming isn't real, just remind them of the sad tale of Sandy Island. And tell them that their home town may be next.
For global warming does not only cause catastrophic rises in sea level -- such as the 1,400 metre rise above Sandy Island. It also causes unprecedented storms, floods, droughts, sexually transmitted diseases, earthquakes, and alterations in the planetary magnetic field. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is real!
Just tell them that. And when you have the time, observe a moment of silence for Sandy Island and the lost millions who once lived at over 1,400 metres higher altitude than their final resting place.
As for the Fin family, I suppose we'll have to settle for Bora Bora this year. C'est la vie.
Labels: Plagiaristic Satire, satire
posted by al fin at 2:14 pm
3 Comments:
Didn't the Mayan Calender predict the demise of Sandy Island?
First the Twinkie and now Sandy Island. How much more Global warming can we survive?
LOL....good one, Mr. Fin!
Thanks. You know the one who was hit the hardest by the tragedy is Valerie, our android domestic servant and nanny. She had a special friend who was an android barkeep at our favourite Sandy Island family saloon.
For days, she's been inconsolable.
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“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” _George Orwell
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