Announcing Oynklent Green: A New Energy Future
The world is in need of an abundant source of renewable energy. Al Fin Blog Syndicates is proud to announce the IPO for Oynklent Green [OTC: OYNK], the new corrupt-politician-to-biofuels thermochemical process which promises an unlimited new source of biofuels, which will actually result in more available food and cropland--not less.An earlier Al Fin article threw the idea out as a trial balloon, and I must say the response has been most gratifying. Knowing that turkey and pork processing waste products are being used to create biodiesel, and understanding how closely related corrupt politicians are to both turkeys and pigs, the scientists at Al Fin Laboratories quickly began work on a top-secret project to perfect the "corrupt-politican-to-biofuels" (CPTB) process.
I am happy to report that the CPTB process was easier to perfect than anticipated, as the process used for turkeys and pigs was transferrable almost entirely to corrupt politicians! That happy coincidence combined with a groundswell of public support and financing allows me to announce the IPO for OYNK.
Due to problems with the SEC resulting from the rapid organisation and venture funding of OYNK, all stock transactions must take place via e-mail. But be assured that all Oynklent Green accounting will be overseen by the same accounting firm that oversaw the energy giant Enron, Arthur Andersen (re-organised).
So purchase your stock today, before Oynklent Green becomes so big as to be unaffordable. Remember, "Energy is People!"
Labels: biofuels, Oynklent Green, satire
posted by al fin at 9:41 am
5 Comments:
Wouldn't it be easier just to hook their blow-holes up to a gas liquification process? Think about all that endlessly abundant "hot air" and the ability to convert those noxious fumes into ecologically friendly fuels!!
Oynklent Enterprises considered that approach. But given the abundance of corrupt and corruptible politicians lined up to take the place of feedstock, there should never be a shortage of supply.
Besides, the benefit of interrupting the corruption in the middle of a term prevents most legislation from ever being passed. That government governs best which governs least.
Besides, the benefit of interrupting the corruption in the middle of a term prevents most legislation from ever being passed. That government governs best which governs least. True, but that was why I was thinking something along the lines of engendering a permanent "do-nothing" congress. Just keep 'em all hopped up on Filibuster(tm).
Same difference, though. :)
I suspect that the composition of corrupt politicians, while appearing to be high energy pork fat is actually an inert substance similar to sedimentary rock. Examination of their cranial capacity lead me to that conclusion. But feel free to squeeze them for empirical data. Something useful might come out of them. There might just be sufficient alcohol content in one or two to make the venture profitable.
Perhaps, Baron, but Oynklent hadn't planned on using the (largely empty) cranial contents anyway. The politician's family would be given the option for cryonic preservation of the brain, but if preservation is not selected, the head would be turned over to the family for burial.
You can see that Oynklent is a humane organisation, besides being the energy saviour of the world.
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“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” _George Orwell
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