23 February 2012

The Great Wall of Canada

The USA Is Already Lost, But Canada Can Still Be Saved!

Top-secret plans are afoot to build a giant wall of carbon purification along the entire length of the Canada - USA border. A prototype wall section built by Carbon Engineering of Calgary demonstrates what such a wall might look like.
Great Wall Route

The technology incorporated into the Great Wall of Canada will be fairly straightforward. Special carbon-capture liquids will be pumped through atmospheric-contact channels, automatically removing the deadly demon gas CO2 from our precious common breathing gases. The carbon will then be removed from the capture liquid, freeing it up for another cycle.
The Great Wall of Canada would be but a first-line defense, of course. Smaller carbon purifying units would be located near large population and industrial zones, for added life-saving protection.
As noted above, the USA is already lost to toxic, acidifying levels of the demon gas. But if we work quickly, we can still save Canada from the demonic forces that threaten most of the rest of the world.
We should consider the Great Wall Project as the first in a series of protective measures against the widespread decay that is destroying large parts of Europe and North America. And thanks to massive resources of coal, gas, bitumens, and crude oil, we can afford to build such a wall, coast to coast. And thanks to our friends from China, for pitching in.

Remember, in the new age of climate change, southern Canada will be the new Arizona and Florida. There will be no need for winter migrations to the south any longer. We need to learn to watch out for ourselves, now.

As for our neighbors to the south, we are willing to sell our carbon purification technology to them, but they must be prepared to pay the full price. We recommend that they start by building a wall along their own southern border, and take it from there.

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Blogger yamahaeleven said...

better than the Onion!

Thursday, 23 February, 2012  
Blogger Matt M said...

Is it April 1st?

Thursday, 23 February, 2012  
Blogger al fin said...

Yama11: When you are reading the Onion at least you know what you are getting. Here, you never do.

Satire can seem very spooky when a person is not quite sure whether what he is reading is real or not.

Matt: Here at Al Fin, every day of the year is a potential April 1st, because nothing quite cuts through the pretense like laughter.

Powerful people and groups often fear ridicule most of all.

Friday, 24 February, 2012  
Blogger Bruce Hall said...

Perhaps they should all be erected at the Arctic Circle facing south so that Canada can be cooled by nature's own air-conditioner.

Of course, in case of global cooling, the wall can be moved to the southern border facing north to suck in all of that balmy Mexican weather.

Friday, 24 February, 2012  

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“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” _George Orwell

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