23 March 2008

United Nations Issues Stern Easter Warning to UK

UN Roads Commission spokesperson Likshmi Singh issued a stern weather warning to all roads departments within the UK, at a well-attended press conference in NYC. "UK road conditions are very treacherous, and drivers should stay home and off the roads whenever possible. If they absolutely must be on the roads, FOR GOD'S SAKE, MAKE THEM DRIVE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD! The extreme Easter weather conditions will simply not allow the normal UK highway hooliganism to continue."

Shocked reporters from the BBC insisted that Singh be more specific. "Are you saying that drivers in the UK should drive in the opposite lanes, against all conventions?"

Singh was adamant: "The old excuse that "everyone is doing it" is no longer acceptable", Singh said. "Driving on the wrong side of the road is a luxury the UK can no longer afford, now that climate change is making conditions so treacherous. The UK needs to remember that it is not a world empire any more. It cannot set the rules for everyone now."

In the image above, snow-stricken Britons are seen huddling together from the cold at water's edge. Driven from their cars by drift-covered roads, they are seen contemplating swimming south across the waters to warmer climes.


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