How to Make Your Own Milk Even If You're a Man

No, I'm not suggesting taking hormones. I'm suggesting you look into buying a pet animal the size of a German Shepherd dog, that can give you 16 pints of milk a day and will also crop your lawn without costing a cent for gasoline. How? What? No need to stay in suspense, my friends. The answer is the mini-cow, a family pet that will provide milk, companionship, and free lawn care for many years--then when it dies you can put it in your freezer as fresh beef.

For between £200 and £2,000, people can buy a cow that stands no taller than a large German shepherd dog, gives 16 pints of milk a day that can be drunk unpasteurised, keeps the grass “mown” and will be a family pet for years before ending up in the freezer.

The Dexter, a mountain breed from Ireland, is perfect for cattle-keeping on a small scale, but other breeds are being artificially created to compete with it, including the Mini-Hereford and the Lowline Angus, which has been developed by the Australian government to stand no more than 39in high but produce 70% of the steak of a cow twice its size.....

“With high food prices, they are actually quite an attractive option if you like producing your own food,” said Sue Farrant. “Both my husband and I have full-time jobs so we’re keeping them on the side as an interest. They do largely look after themselves and they’ve been hugely popular with the children.” Her husband said: “They have a phenomenal reputation for the quality of the beef. I think they are proving very attractive to families who have a bit of land and are interested in organic produce. From an economic point of view, we get to eat as much meat as we want and we roughly break-even, but you can sell what you don’t eat.

“As long as you’ve got plenty of grass they will be fine. You don’t really have to feed them.” _TimesOnline

By considering all the aspects of keeping a mini-cow, the economics can be quite favourable. This is what Swamp Woman was trying to tell me a few weeks ago, but I was too busy to listen. I suspect that a person would need a couple of acres of grass to provide feed for the critter. You'd best tell the kids not to give it treats without clearing them with the Vet first.