30 January 2011

A Public Service Announcement from President Obama

My Fellow Americans:

I am very aware of the pain that many of you are feeling, with no jobs, no income, no health insurance. My administration is doing everything it can to help the economy recover from the Bush years. Some recent job openings have come to my attention while I was watching news coverage for next week's SuperBowl in Texas. It seems that thousands of people are needed for high paying jobs as "prole dancers" in the Dallas - Ft. Worth area over the next several days.

I had never heard of prole dancing before, but it seems clear that it involves some form of rhythmic movement set to music, performed by white trailer trash performers -- a group currently suffering particularly high unemployment.

After researching the topic on the internet, I can see that I was correct. It looks quite easy to do, and there are many tutorials available on the internet. Here is one:
Michelle has informed me that prole dancing can also be used as a workout program, for losing weight and gaining fitness. That is most fortunate, since one sees far too many fat proles walking the streets these days. Disgusting.

Here is more information about the use of prole dancing as a fitness tool:
Thank you for your attention. And I hope this will put an end to all of the accusations against this administration, that it doesn't care about proles or white trailer trash. Because we certainly do, and this announcement is proof of it.

Eh? What's that Rahm? You say it's called "pole dancing", not "prole dancing?" Anyone can do it -- not just trailer trash? Oh. Well, then. Never mind.

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Blogger CarlBrannen said...

One of my acquaintances worked at one of these places and described to me the many things that go on there.

Example: One of the girls came to work feeling a little queasy but she stuck to her routine anyway. During the routine she removed all her clothes while dancing with the pole as usual. She was almost off duty when the disaster happened. She was doing something quite like a "Candy-cane corkscrew" when the front members of the audience experienced her explosive diarrhea.

Moral: try to keep your mouth shut at the strip club.

Sunday, 30 January, 2011  
Blogger al fin said...

Thanks for the advice.

Personally, I prefer to sit well back from the stage, allowing the more eager to crowd around the dais.

Strip clubs can be good places to meet clients, as a way to understand them better by the way they react to the surroundings.

But in the sort of circumstances you describe, it would be best to sit well back from the front.

Tuesday, 01 February, 2011  

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“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” _George Orwell

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