Goat-Smelling Desert Dwellers Confused by Brasilian Interference
For many years, the All-Peninsular Goat-Smelling Mooch Award has been won by either Ahmed or Abdul. (It should be noted that the word "mooch" means something different in Arabic, being more linguistically akin to the Yiddish word "mensch".) Al Fin traveled to the peninsula to interview Abdul and Ahmed, the most highly skilled goat-smellers in peninsular history, to question them about Brasil's latest interference in the goat genome, and the implications this may have for their profession in the future.
Al Fin: Thank you very much, Abdul and Ahmed, for meeting with me today.
Ahmed and Abdul in unison: Salaam aleikum, Al.
AF: Wa aleikum salaam. I'll start with Abdul first. What do you think about Brasil's interference with goat genetics?
Abdul: It is a serious problem, Al. These interfered goats do not smell the same as a natural goat. It gives me a headache to think what these cursed Brasilian scientists are doing.
AF: I understand that some goat-smellers are worried that the Brasilians will insert some pig genes into their goats, and then release the pig-goats into peninsular herds to inter-breed with natural goats. Ahmed, what have you heard in that regard?
Ahmed: I was enraged when the imam announced this outrage at Friday noon prayer. We rushed into the streets with hands full of stones, looking for infidels and perverts. Fortunately we found a woman walking without a veil, with her head uncovered. It would have been a shame to waste the stones.
AF: I see. But can't you tell the difference in smell between natural goats and Brasil-interfered goats? Wouldn't such a thing lead to greater demand for goat-smellers, and higher profits for you?
Abdul: No, Al, you don't understand. Just to smell such a pig-goat would contaminate a goat smeller so that he could not go to mosque without enduring a prolonged purification ritual over a period of many days. Many of our best clients would be reluctant to hire us with such a taint over our heads.
AF: Hmmm. What do you intend to do, then?
Ahmed: We must declare jihad against the Brasilian scientists and destroy their laboratories before they can achieve their blasphemous goals.
AF: But what about all the good things that could come from the transgenic goat programs? Destroying the laboratories may prevent some important medical breakthroughs.
Abdul: Not our problem, Al. We must do what we must do.
AF: So. Thanks for meeting with me today Abdul and Ahmed.
A&A: As Salaamu Aleikum, Al.
Technology Review article about transgenic goat experiments in Brazil
Al Fin: Thank you very much, Abdul and Ahmed, for meeting with me today.
Ahmed and Abdul in unison: Salaam aleikum, Al.
AF: Wa aleikum salaam. I'll start with Abdul first. What do you think about Brasil's interference with goat genetics?
Abdul: It is a serious problem, Al. These interfered goats do not smell the same as a natural goat. It gives me a headache to think what these cursed Brasilian scientists are doing.
AF: I understand that some goat-smellers are worried that the Brasilians will insert some pig genes into their goats, and then release the pig-goats into peninsular herds to inter-breed with natural goats. Ahmed, what have you heard in that regard?
Ahmed: I was enraged when the imam announced this outrage at Friday noon prayer. We rushed into the streets with hands full of stones, looking for infidels and perverts. Fortunately we found a woman walking without a veil, with her head uncovered. It would have been a shame to waste the stones.
AF: I see. But can't you tell the difference in smell between natural goats and Brasil-interfered goats? Wouldn't such a thing lead to greater demand for goat-smellers, and higher profits for you?
Abdul: No, Al, you don't understand. Just to smell such a pig-goat would contaminate a goat smeller so that he could not go to mosque without enduring a prolonged purification ritual over a period of many days. Many of our best clients would be reluctant to hire us with such a taint over our heads.
AF: Hmmm. What do you intend to do, then?
Ahmed: We must declare jihad against the Brasilian scientists and destroy their laboratories before they can achieve their blasphemous goals.
AF: But what about all the good things that could come from the transgenic goat programs? Destroying the laboratories may prevent some important medical breakthroughs.
Abdul: Not our problem, Al. We must do what we must do.
AF: So. Thanks for meeting with me today Abdul and Ahmed.
A&A: As Salaamu Aleikum, Al.
Technology Review article about transgenic goat experiments in Brazil
Labels: animals, genetics, satire
posted by al fin at 2:16 pm
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“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” _George Orwell
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