How Politicians Can Help Solve Energy Shortages

Exciting breakthroughs are occurring in the area of biodiesel and backyard ethanol. But ethanol and biodiesel alone cannot solve all of our energy problems. The addition of new garbage to energy solutions is likely add even more to our domestic energy supply, but is it possible that North America's greatest potential source of energy has been kept a secret for centuries?

Although North America may suffer from occasional "energy shortages", it has never suffered from a shortage of corrupt politicians--and probably never will. Animal flesh byproducts from turkey and hog processing plants have been used to create biodiesel and ethanol, as a side industry. Consider, if you will, the amount of energy contained within the body of a corrupt politician. Closely related to both the turkey and the pig, corrupt politicians must be quite energy rich, if processed properly.

North America is currently suffering from "political peak oil"--energy shortages caused by corrupt politicians who cater to special interest groups by making available energy supplies too expensive or illegal to develop. The energy is there, but the corrupt politicians do not want us to develop it. What can we do? I propose to kill two birds with one stone.

When corrupt politicians achieve an adequate state of ripeness, they can be sent to thermochemical waste to energy processing plants, to be turned into useful energy. By processing the politicians in the middle of their terms, new politicians are allowed into office to be groomed for future energy production. If the new politicians actually help solve energy problems instead of making them worse, they will be more useful in office, than turned into energy. If in the more likely case the new politicians become corrupt themselves, they can be converted to energy in the same way as their predecessor.

High rollers such as Tony Rezko can actually expedite this process in two ways. First of all, by corrupting politicians, Rezko is adding to our energy supply. Secondly, by occasionally opening his books to energy regulators, Rezko and his friends can reveal the true extent of this energy resource.

Remember. If a politician is a part of the problem, he can also become part of the solution.