29 March 2009

Climactic Childbirth and Breasty Stem Cells

Who says childbirth has to hurt?
Orgasm and childbirth are not two words you expect to find in the same sentence. But, as implausible as it may sound, increasing numbers of mothers are signing up to the Orgasmic Birth movement. Childbirth, they claim, far from being a painful ordeal to endure, can be as ecstatic and pleasurable as the moment of conception itself. Now, with the release of two new documentary films in America depicting orgasmic births, and websites awash with first-hand accounts from women claiming similar experiences, are we about to lift the lid on this taboo? _Times
And who says stem cells are not practical? London Breast Institute scientists are developing a stem cell treatment to help women grow larger breasts.
A trial has already started in Britain to use stem cells to repair the breasts of women who have had cancerous lumps removed. A separate project is understood to be the first in Britain to use the new technique on healthy women seeking breast enlargement.

Professor Kefah Mokbel, a consultant breast surgeon at the London Breast Institute at the Princess Grace hospital, who is in charge of the project, will treat 10 patients from May. He predicts private patients will be able to pay for the procedure within six months at a cost of about £6,500.

“This is a very exciting advance in breast surgery,” said Mokbel. “They [breasts treated with stem cells] feel more natural because this tissue has the same softness as the rest of the breast.” _Times
Solving the problem of painful childbirth plus growing larger breasts? I must say that our scientists are providing a good return on our research investment. Just a few more similar breakthroughs, and I suspect that the largest problem of all -- the demographic collapse of the west -- may actually be solved. Westerners have gone soft and wobbly, in many ways. They seem unable to stand up for themselves against the genuine threats facing civilisation. The modern westerner shares many of the traits of the pampered pet toy poodle, in terms of down-bred potential. The only way to "re-wild" the modern westerner, with his many atrophied potentials, is via basic instincts -- such as sex. If we don't think of something, global dumbing may become universal.

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3 Comments:

Blogger SwampWoman said...

Orgasmic childbirth? Snort. I bet they won't have any repeat customers. Of course, it does feel really, REALLY good when it's over. The biggest damn lie I have ever heard in my life (and I've heard some whoppers!) was the Lamaze coach saying that we may feel a little "discomfort" during childbirth.

Sunday, 29 March, 2009  
Blogger al fin said...

Come on, SW. Childbirth: You know you love it, baby!

Now that they are making eggs out of muscle and fat stem cells, you are never too old to make a baby. As soon as artificial wombs are certified safe, we may see women in their 90s choosing to have children!

Monday, 30 March, 2009  
Blogger SwampWoman said...

Nope, 90-year-old women do not have the endurance necessary to out argue a 2-year-old child.

Monday, 30 March, 2009  

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“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act” _George Orwell

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